i have often thought of writing a great novel about a Muslim boy and ending it with following lines: “and when his hands touched the golden and blue cover of Quran, a chill passed through his body. he could not remember what happened next when he opened the first page and found it blank. the words had vanished as promised.”
i have not been able to be a Mo’min.I have not even tried. I have kept that for future. I am very idealistic about that. I have a feeling that after this career thing is done with, I will give appropriate time to religion and faith. when i pray, i ask Allah to get me through this period in time so i can focus on the real business. “how ironical! if not now, then never!” i hear a voice telling me. “why wait? is this a rule to make sure you get enough money to provide for yourself in future and then start considering what the requirements of Quran are? why don’t you ask Him to give you the strength to understand the Knowledge and help you pass through this phase too?”
as usual i ignore the voice and get out of the mosque and forget about it. ignorance is bliss. i don’t know about others but I have assumed my faith to grow strong with time without any efforts being made. i have formed a view of myself being the perfect Muslim in future life.
a short story here is worth telling:
“a man, very intelligent and smart commits a crime and is exiled from his country to another place. on the night of his arrival, he plans that he will make his period of exile as interesting as possible. he learns the trade of new place. copulates with local women. earns money. and dreams about returning to his homeland once the exile ends. at last the day comes. he goes back to his house in his own country and finds it gloomy and dark. the food tastes bad and women, worst. he loses his health to drugs and wealth to gambling. and then he realizes that all he had thought was a mirage.”
i hope i haven’t seen a MIRAGE.