the capacity human beings have to make sense of things, to establish and verify facts, and to change or justify practices, institutions, and beliefs
the capacity. i have that too. should i use it always? i don’t know. i look for reason (i cannot continue this sentence as : and most of the times it is there) and most of the times the reason is sleeping. as sleep of reason creates monsters, some originate within me. should i try to wake it up instead? what if it is a monster itself? so i let it sleep. then happened a day when it woke. i was in the same room. behind the curtain, breathing slowly and quietly. i had a perception that it is a monster now.it rubbed away all the sleepiness from its eyes and looked in my direction. a chill passed through my frail body. it had occurred to it that someone is there. i could not read its expressions through the thick curtain. i covered my mouth with my hands and a sweat drop hit the carpet. i saw it diffuse into the brown. the reason was now active. it stood up and walked towards the mirror. the reason stood there for almost three quarters of an hour. i was completely perspired now. but the fear had made me oblivious to senses.
which occurs beyond one’s control without regard to one’s will, intention or desired result
control. i have that too. will, intention, desire, i have everything. human beings will rather will nothingness than having nothing to will-Nietzsche. i always will. and i will continue to will. but what happens is fortune. sometimes in garb of my will, sometimes raw. fortune is as random as the thought. the reason turned at last. it dropped its robe and i looked at its genderless body. it drew the blinds on the huge window to view his castle. after a deep breath, it walked towards the closet and put on another robe, a little shiny. it looked at itself in the mirror again. after few minutes he took some steps back and lifted a vase from the table. it threw the vase on the mirror. my heart came to my throat. the mirror broke with a terrible shrieking sound. then the reason shouted with all its might and power. the hair on my body stood up. it calmed down and put its hands on its head. meanwhile a wandering insect, the THOUGHT, bite my foot. my neurons were not sleeping anymore and i made sound due to the very familiar pain. the reason heard me and came in my direction. i was half-dead now. i could feel its anger. it forcefully pulled the curtain i was hiding behind. i could not believe what i saw. it was the faceless FORTUNE.