Deviations II

what do i want? what do i want to do right now at this particular moment?

that curve covered by a purple cloth and those bones protruding from the back of the foot, those weak bones and that blue thick cloth stuck with the thin legs

i want to complete an incompleteness in my chest. there is so much in there yet there exists an emptiness felt with every breath. or is it a fullness, striving to come out from every breath?  that arm covered with bangles attempted to close the door of the vehicle but could not as the hand slipped.

i have work to do. i have to prepare for tomorrow. i have to have my hair cut. they are so rough. and messy too. i am sure i have some obsessive disorder which is exaggerated by the pornography and ten thousand types of restrains over the fulfilment of the adventures which keep rushing out from many dept…that beautiful face with dark circles around the eyes and that brief conversation which started and ended with a ‘yes’ and the profile of that half covered face with set of perfect teeth and compassionate smile… hs unable to find a resort. imperfection seeks perfection it doesn’t deserve.

Do the acts change the thought or the disposition of thought drive the action? If spirit could live individually, i will throw away the meat and bone. Love is a dirty trick played on us for the continuation of species.



For about a month now I have realized and understood that my quest for gaining knowledge of all kinds is uncontrollable and is also affecting the way my days are spent and add to it my transitions from heedlessness to faithlessness, from a dark room with one faded window to a dark dungeon with no outlets the situation could well influence the coming days and could decay my abilities and their possibilities. What would I do, if I could do all I can? Therefore I have devised a plan to organise all that I want to know primarily, in fact exclusively by reading. I have known for months that being a successful businessman or having a good job and earning good money is not the only thing I want. I remember my friend S telling me back in college what I wanted with my life and it was exactly true in those times. He said, ‘I know what you want and I see you in a tall building facing the beach in Australia, your office having clear view of the sea outside and you standing there in your office and gazing at the girls below. You want a great job and a wife as beautiful as a fairy.’ I hated him for speaking the truth.

That was solely an aim years ago. But there is evolution of a mind. Now I want to know the world as it deserves to be known; as the words, which shattered the mountains and caused them immense fear want you and me to know.