Mansur Junejo

‘This life is unbearably long and may be unnecessarily too’, said Junejo staring at the fire, which reflected in his dark intelligent eyes. ‘Only some moments are worth living, remaining are for the preparation. I’ve not distinguished the liveable moments though, they are lost in thousands of useless moments, invisible and if I were a sceptic, I should have said, non-existent!’, saying this he looked at me and smiled a sceptical smile, which betrayed his statement. ‘I can see you are about to say something which will move my core and cause me to believe in you for a day or two may be until I go and search and bring some doubt to your temporarily certain explanations as always, han?’, smiling sceptically Junejo threw his phone at me. ‘See that?’ I looked at his phone. There was a message from an unknown number, it read:

‘MJ I shall not leave you. I am made for you. You may have attached yourself to someone as you say but I love you more than you love her. I have no problem. I am ready to be your second wife. I know you have no problem with polygamy, I listened to your talk in the canteen, when you were telling your friends why you think polygamy is good. Regardless of my opposition to it, I will be happy with you because I love you, MJ, please accept me! I will die without you, have mercy on me.I’ll kill myself’

‘What do I tell her now? Am I obliged to save a life? If she dies, would God catch me too?’

‘But you can be polygamous, what is wrong, you can save a life, all you have to do is distribute your love!’

‘Safdar, is this you speaking?’, angered slightly he stopped smiling.

‘How old are you MJ?’

‘Why, twenty-three or so!’

‘If you think life is unnecessarily long and that it should have been otherwise, you would have perished before reaching this age and knowing that you had your ‘enlightenment’ only last year, you may have seen hell by now and your life would have been totally useless like that star beside the moon’

‘If I had known I would have sought the enlightenment earlier in my life’

‘Presumptions are too dangerous to harbour them for a long time in our heads, how can you know that your life is long, because you saw  that dream?’

‘Dreams are insignificant, but its generally established that average human life is more than three scores’

‘Generally established statements are spoiled forms of presumptions. You say you would have sought for the enlightenment earlier. Did you seek it in real life?’

‘No, it just came to me. Didn’t I tell you about that accident by which I discovered enlightenment’

‘Please don’t use that word, I prefer collusion rather than accident’

‘Doesn’t matter what you call it’

‘Matters. Say I fail in some of my plans and then I say ‘it was my fate’. You’d jump up and tell me that fate is a bad word. You’ll suggest me to say, ‘it has happened as God willed it for me’’

‘I had another dream’

‘Where you were celebrating your 155th birthday?’

‘No, I haven’t seen any dream twice. I saw that my betrothed has given birth to twins years after our marriage. But…. she has herself has died’, he said this in a whisper, again looking at the flames, which could not burn the gloom in his eyes. ‘then I saw that I am in bed with her!’

‘Dreams are insignificant’

‘I am afraid she might actually do something silly. I have ignored her every time she has tried to talk to me. I don’t even look at her. But since last month she is stalking me and makes contact almost daily.’

‘Do you love her?’

‘No’, it sounded like an answer to the question ‘do you want to live?’

‘Your mother tells me that you have been behaving strangely and you are not comfortable with company any more. She accused you of introversion and says that you talk about purpose of things all the time. Last week she insisted you to go to the jeweller for ordering a set for your betrothed and you didn’t go and behaved so badly that she cried afterwards?’

‘I am at loss. I don’t understand, what is the purpose of this marriage. I don’t want to marry at all. Granted I love my betrothed, I plead guilty to it but I have started to look at things differently or rather they have actually been different all along’

‘You are uselessly pushing yourself to confusion and nihilistic attitudes. We are Muslims MJ, we are surrenderers, our lives have been bought, we have sold ourselves for something we cannot imagine, but something great, something which is a source of unimaginable bliss, we have been promised, we are told that we do not have to worry, we are told to be steadfast and wait!’

‘Why such long wait?’

‘God knows! Look brother cutting yourself off from other people will not help you gain satisfaction. We are animals but social. Seclusion is good but its excess, extremely bad.’

‘That’s your opinion. I don’t have courage to meet people with false smiles’

‘At least be good to your parents’

‘Hmm. What should I do with her?’

‘Marry her’

‘I don’t love her’

‘She does, and that is important’

‘What about other complications? How will I tell mother and what will my betrothed say? This can’t be done, it is impossible’, he stood up and we walked towards the house.

‘You said all I’ve to do is distribute my love, is love distributable?’

I didn’t answer.